Having an au pair can help a family develop clear rules that can guide how the children are treated. For instance, when kids see an au pair taking their plates to the kitchen after dinner, it can be a good incentive for them to do the same.
However, au pairs’ precarious immigration status can be used by agencies and host families to silence complaints. So, these higher numbers are rarely publicly reported, according to one specialist at expertaupair.com.
Relationships
Au pairs become temporary family members, and they often form deep relationships with children. Many families say that their au pair becomes like a “temporary older sibling.” This positive relationship is important for children to have as they grow into adolescents and adults, as studies show that strong relationships with caregivers can help kids cope with trauma, and develop social skills, self-esteem, and empathy.
But not all au pairs receive the supportive relationship they deserve. As a result, au pairs have a high risk of experiencing abuse and exploitation. Agencies and host families are aware that au pairs are reliant on the program to earn income, and thus have little incentive to protect them from exploitative placements. Additionally, au pairs’ precarious immigration status makes them vulnerable to labor exploitation as they may not be able to leave an abusive situation until they have earned enough money to pay off their debts.
Despite these dangers, au pairs do report positive experiences. In fact, they cite cultural diplomacy as one of their top reasons for participating in the program. In addition, almost two-thirds of au pairs report that their experience with American people and culture has made them more positive about the US and its citizens.
But the problem is that the vast majority of au pair programs are not doing their jobs well. Interviews with au pairs and host families by EurekaFacts suggest that au pair agencies misrepresent the program to prospective participants, highlighting the benefits of language learning and cultural exchange while downplaying the realities of providing 45 hours of child care each week.
Host families can also be prone to exploitative behavior. Some host families fail to treat their au pair with respect, and some even engage in sexual exploitation and other abuse. Despite the fact that some of these families are repeat au pair customers, agency representatives often fail to address the issue. Ultimately, the program needs more oversight and regulation to ensure that au pairs are protected from these harmful practices.
The good news is that the vast majority of au pair and host families are happy with their experiences. The program is a valuable resource for families and au pairs alike. But it’s crucial that all parties take responsibility to keep the program running smoothly by discussing issues openly and honestly.
Education
Many au pairs report that their host families make them feel like part of the family and provide a supportive home environment. However, some au pairs are subject to exploitative living arrangements that can be difficult to leave. Au pair agencies should be required to kick families that treat au pairs poorly from the program. Any au pair who has had to sleep in a laundry room, for example, would know how damaging this is. Au pairs also have little choice but to stay in bad situations because they can only get another au pair placement after two weeks, and then they risk being sent back home.
Agencies, which are responsible for arranging au pair matches with host families, contribute to au pairs’ exploitation in several ways. Agencies employ recruitment tactics that mislead au pairs and fail to mean- ingfully support au pairs who report issues. They have also campaigned against program changes intended to bolster protections for au pairs, including limiting the amount of overtime that can be worked.
Au pairs are vulnerable to exploitation because of their precarious immigration status. In the past, au pair agencies weaponized this fact to suppress complaints and coerce au pairs to remain in exploitative placements. Au pair agencies are aware of their role in contributing to au pairs’ vulnerability, and yet they have failed to act.
Foster, who started Au Pairs for Justice with Matahari, wants to see the au pair program change so that it treats au pairs as employees and protects them from workplace abuse and other violations. She cites the example of Massachusetts, which raised au pair wages and put them under the state’s domestic worker bill of rights. Au pairs there now enjoy fewer “horror stories,” she says. She hopes that the rest of the country will follow suit. But she recognizes that raising au pair pay could drive some families out of the program, especially if they are already paying more than the minimum wage. Au pairs would have to work even more hours in order to afford the higher pay.
Language Skills
Au pairs, who are typically young women from a variety of cultural backgrounds, live as members of host families for an extended period (typically one year) and help with children and light household chores. They often engage in language immersion and develop enduring international friendships as they work and play with their hosts. Although many au pair participants report learning English well, others struggle to meet their language goals. Some au pairs find it difficult to balance the responsibilities of their jobs with the demands of family life. Some feel exploited and overworked, and their working conditions make them vulnerable to exploitation.
For some, the program offers a chance to travel and experience American culture for a low price. For others, especially those in lower socioeconomic statuses, it’s a way to escape poverty and earn an income while supporting themselves and their families. The combination of cultural exchange, language learning and child care makes the au pair program attractive to foreign youth and domestic workers. However, the hybrid nature of the program also leaves it vulnerable to exploitation.
Some au pairs may be reluctant to speak up about their experiences with their host families or employer. The fear of being deemed rude or argumentative can lead them to stay silent or tolerate poor treatment and a lack of support. Some au pairs are even subjected to physical violence and verbal abuse from their employers.
However, it’s not uncommon for au pairs to find a voice and take action against the mistreatment they face. In some cases, au pairs have sued their host families and won compensation for their experience.
Moreover, au pairs can also be a valuable resource for their hosts. Having someone on hand to teach their children about another country or culture can help broaden the minds and hearts of the whole family. Children equipped with early exposure to different cultures are better prepared for an interconnected world and can be more flexible in dealing with differences.
In addition, au pairs are often bilingual, and they can provide a natural, organic language lesson for their children. In fact, research has shown that when adults and children converse in a second language, the brain picks up on sounds, structures and vocabulary more rapidly than when learning in a classroom.
Self-Esteem
In today’s fast-paced world, families are struggling to balance work, home, and kids. In order to make ends meet, many parents turn to childcare options like nannies or au pairs. Often, these families seek more than just a caretaker for their children; they want someone who can also offer them and their children an opportunity for a unique cultural experience.
Many au pairs feel a strong connection to their Host Families, even after they leave the program. They often mimic some of their Host Parent’s behaviors, such as parenting styles or cooking habits. Moreover, au pairs often say that their time in the program was a crucial factor in deciding their future plans, such as whether or not to have children and what kind of parenting style they would choose.
The Au Pair program teaches young adults how to be part of a team. They learn to be respectful of their family members, communicate effectively, and develop a positive attitude towards others. This skill set will benefit them for the rest of their lives, and will help them in their careers, relationships, and communities.
During their year with their Host Families, au pairs often find themselves supporting and fighting for important causes. They may join their Host Family or Local Childcare Consultant’s do-good efforts, or they might strike out on their own, emboldened by their newfound confidence and passion for volunteerism. Regardless, their work as advocates and activists will have a positive impact on the lives of people all over the globe.
Au Pairs gain a deep understanding of the American way of life. They learn about the traditions and values of Americans, which they can bring back to their home countries to share with their friends and families. Additionally, they have the opportunity to visit their host family’s hometown and explore their heritage. These cultural exchanges provide fuel for the global movement toward empathy and tolerance.
